This essay by Benjamin Hart on the Awl is already a classic for me. It's so close to being an actual Verge article that I almost didn't bother reading it. I'm so glad I did. The opening paragraph is pure gold but it's chock full of little treasures like this:
And Zgliewzki, the Polish diner everyone loved (though nobody I know had ever been there) shuttered to make way for Polski, a modern take on Slavic cuisine featuring a forty-two-dollar ramen kielbasa stuffed with sustainably farmed foie gras.
"sustainably farmed foie gras" made me laugh out loud.
I'm jealous of how fantastic this essay is. The on-the-nose humor kills me.
The last straw came in February, when, while waiting in a Trader Joe’s line that snaked around the block twice to buy conflict-free hummus, I learned via Periscope that my co-worker Steve had been selected for Amazon drone-delivery beta testing.