A Long Hard Winter

May 29, 2019 by Gabe | [mmd] |

It was a relatively mild winter here in New England. We are now fully into the manic depressive spring of sun and cold rain. With my day job consuming my free time I've spent very little time on my hobbies, like Macdrifter. I also feel a creeping depression squeezing out room for small joys. I no longer enjoy most "tech" publications. Maybe it's the predictable format, the trite repetitive opinions, or the meaningless financial analysis. Or maybe it's just this black mold growing inside of my chest.

Whatever the cause, I lack the motivation to write on most days. I've started and killed dozens of articles. My graveyard is full and I'm not sure where to draw inspiration. I thought I could just write and see what ideas bring me back those small joys. That didn't work.

Even writing and posting this article was a slog. The original draft started over a month ago. In the intervening days I've considered retiring this site and riding off into the sunset of internet anonymity. The only thing keeping this burden alive is the incredibly kind email I receive from longtime readers. Some express concern about the site and my health and others are just nice thank-you messages. For a die hard blogger, disillusioned with independent writing on the internet, this keeps me going. But that's not what got me posting again. I needed some new perspective.

This year's Maker speech by Adam Savage rekindled some of my lost enthusiasm for creating.

Indie blogs rarely make a living wage. Sites like Macdrifter run on ego . I love recognition from readers and other writers. After leaving Twitter two a year and a half ago, I dramatically reduced the reader feedback I get and I certainly reduced my access to other writers. So I needed another currency to motivate me and I struggled to find it. Adam's speech presents a compelling reason to create and it's one that I find valuable. So maybe I can find those little joys in just being part of the dying platform stubborning hanging on to something I still love.

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